What Should I Do If I’m Bullied?

What is bullying?

Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose. The person being bullied has a hard time defending himself or herself. Ususally, bullying happens over and over. Sometimes bullying is easy to notice, such as with hitting or name calling, and other times it’s hard to see, like with leaving a person out or saying mean things behind someone’s back. Both boys and girls bully, and both boys and girls get bullied. Bullying is not fair, and it hurts.

How to deal with bullying:

  • Tell your parents or other trusted adults. They can help stop the bullying.
  • If you are bullied at school, tell your teacher, school counselor, or principal. Telling is not tattling.
  • Don’t fight back. Don’t try to bully those who bully you.
  • Try not to show anger or fear. Students who bully like to see that they can upset you.
  • Calmly tell the student to stop…or say nothing and then walk away.
  • Use humor, if this is easy for you to do. (For example, if a student makes fun of your clothing, laugh and say, “Yeah, I think this shirt is kind of funny-looking, too.”)
  • Try to avoid situations in which bullying is likely to happen. You might want to
  • Avoid areas of the school where there are not many students or teachers around.
  • Make sure you aren’t alone in the bathroom or locker room.
  • Sit near the front of the bus.
  • Don’t bring expensive things or lots of money to school
  • Sit with a group of friends at lunch.
  • Take a different route through hallways or walk with friends or a teacher to your classes.

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is “when the Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person. StopCyberbullying.org, an expert organization dedicated to Internet safety, security and privacy, defines cyberbullying as: “a situation when a child, tween or teen is repeatedly ‘tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted’ by another child or teenager using text messaging, email, instant messaging or any other type of digital technology.” Other researchers use similar language to describe the phenomenon.

Cyber-bullying can be as simple as continuing to send e-mail to someone who has said they want no further contact with the sender, but it may also include threats, sexual remarks, pejorative labels (i.e., hate speech), ganging up on victims by making them the subject of ridicule in forums, and posting false statements as fact aimed at humiliation.

Cyber-bullies may disclose victims’ personal data (e.g. real name, address, or workplace/schools) at websites or forums or may pose as the identity of a victim for the purpose of publishing material in their name that defames or ridicules them. Some cyberbullies may also send threatening and harassing emails and instant messages to the victims, while other post rumors or gossip and instigate others to dislike and gang up on the target.

Kids report being mean to each other online beginning as young as 2nd grade. According to research, boys initiate mean online activity earlier than girls do. However, by middle school, girls are more likely to engage in cyber bullying than boys do.  Whether the bully is male or female, their purpose is to intentionally embarrass others, harass, intimidate, or make threats online to one another. This bullying occurs via email, text messaging, posts to blogs, and Web sites.

Though the use of sexual remarks and threats are sometimes present in cyber-bullying, it is not the same as sexual harassment and does not necessarily involve sexual predators.

How to deal with cyberbullying?

  • STOP! Don’t do anything. Take 5! to calm down.
  • Block! Block the cyberbully or limit all communications to those on your buddy list.
  • and Tell!
    Tell a trusted adult, you don’t have to face this alone.
    Report cyberbullying to wiredsafety.org

Tips for adults in the heat of the battle with kid conflicts…

We hear them shouting and we come running. Then, we hear, “He said, he did” or “She said, she did.” How can we help them solve their problems and play together? Here are some strategies you might try:

  • Stay calm.
    Get down to the children’s level and talk to them calmly.
  • Let them know you understand their feelings.
    Describe what you see that they’re feeling. Don’t ask questions until children are calmer.
  • Find out information.
    Ask “what” questions to find out what happened to make them upset.
  • Repeat what you have found out.
    Use clear statements to retell what you heard them say.
  • Ask for ideas to solve the problem.
    Have the children offer ideas and solutions to the problem.
  • Stay close by for support.
    After the children agree to the solution, stay close at hand to be sure things stay calm.
  • Praise them for playing well together.
    Make sure they know you’re proud of them for solving the problem for themselves.